Lessons I've Learned

We’ve all heard the saying, “Time heals all wounds” when referring to emotional wounds. It’s most commonly heard after the death of a loved one, but there are many other ways one can suffer an emotional wound. You could have gone through a bitter divorce, been fired from a good job, or you could have been the victim of an abusive relationship. But what is time? Five seconds is time. Five hundred years is time. Saying “time heals all wounds” doesn’t really tell us anything. Yes, I’ll agree that it does take time for a wound to heal, but I’ll argue that time itself is not the actual healer. Much like a physical wound, in order for an emotional wound to heal properly, you must receive some sort of treatment. If untreated, an open wound can actually get worse with time. I remember when I was 10 years old, walking through the living room of our house. I saw my parents sitting on the couch as I continued towards to front door on my way out. Once outside I saw him – the neighborhood cat....

“There’s nothing you could have done” If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard this since January of 2006, I’d have a lot of dollars. The phrase is referring to the guilt that comes when a loved one commits suicide. It is normal to feel that way, for it is one of the several stages of grief. I don’t feel this way however, because I know that my family and I did everything we could to try to get my brother Jason help with his depression. I do ask myself, “Why didn’t I…” often, but for a slightly different reason. In the year before Jason’s death, I was able to spend a lot of time with him. He even lived with me for several months. During this time, he would sometimes share with me the pain he was going through. He would tell me about the voices he would often hear in his head. He would tell me that the only way to get rid of the agony was to sleep all day. Even this wasn’t always successful because of the horrific nightmares. He would tell me sometimes that he just wanted to kil...